Peter Murphy-Indigo Eyes

“Indigo Eyes”
Peter Murphy

Fire burning in a hill
The lines are rocky rough
Red angels wait to pick remains
The cindered shoulder
Of confused men
Seperate from their awe
With grey desire
He looks out mad
His soft grey indigo eyes
Indigo eyes…
Asking

His heaven is uncovered not
A black tree blocks his way
His way is skating round a dome
(His way is in dismay)
The playmate sings
Like Orphee in some thunder world
Asking to be bathed in light
To be exemplified

With grey desire he looks out mad
His soft grey indigo eyes

Saw his past
He had dug for trust
With blind infected hands
And wondered as the hurt bit hard
Why the sacred weren’t at hand
Only when his ears were deaf
To the angels light burst waves
Only when his ears were deaf
Did life turn from fog to fog
But not evil but estranged
But not evil but estranged

Indigo eyes, Indigo eyes
Indigo eyes, Indigo eyes

With grey desire
He looks out mad
His soft grey
Indigo eyes
Indigo eyes

Can Anyone Understand…What Is So Hard For Me To Say?

parasite

Just can’t get away from it

Can’t reconcile

Can’t find peace

Can’t make any sense of it all

You’re giving me something…

I can’t seem to grasp

Can’t receive

Claim to have by belief

But these things still haunt me

I make a liar of You

Without trying to

Wriggling in discomfort

From what I am still chained to

Waiting for my tormentors

To re-enter that place and time

Appear unannounced…

Invade my thoughts

Permeate walls

I’m being pulled at

Ragamuffin red flagged dead center in a tug of war

Torn into quarters

By wild horses tied to limbs

And the onset is so subtle

So seemingly innocuous

I’m in over my head

Before even knowing I’ve wet a toe

This is what I live with

Every single day

What I pray about

Try to let go of

I’d be a liar to say I’m free

I know what is chasing after me

I also know Who intervenes

That this struggle must play out to conclusion

That the outcome is not at all about me

And so I squirm in the wet earth
Rising to the surface
After a heavy rain
Because I must fight to Remain Vulnerable
submitted
helpless prey trusting
while ominous shadows of spread wings
circle menacingly breaking the stillness of breaking light
Hold fast…and pray
that come what may
may not come
but pass
Thy Will alone be done 
To be of any possible “good” use
available…
though not of much avail
by the limited measures available
This much is clear
when I feel furthest away
it only serves to confirm
what I must acknowledge subconsciously
in my heart of hearts
while fearful and trembling…
despite the self loathing I am prone to
that plagues me
  You have not hesitated, not even for a moment

 

though my wretchedness
be ever before me…
 
 You draw near.