“Visual”

Some time ago I planted some seeds I purchased on amazon from Puerto Rico. Hard to find herbs and bitter/sweet peppers I use in preparing traditional dishes culantro (not the same as cilantro), recao, ajices dulce’. I planted many seeds In many rows but from out of ten or so rows only one single row sprouted. I checked everyday and eventually almost three weeks later another row partially sprouted…after a couple of weeks more passed and no more sprouted I gave up on any more sprouting. Usually when they sprout they are quite tiny. This morning I looked and a new sprout had emerged and it brought me to tears when the dots connected. I realized something, actually it was more of a re-affirmation. I learned that all things are in His time, according to His plan and His purpose. Did I already “know” this?, apparently I needed an illustration!

See…what flashed before me was four days that Lazarus lay “asleep”, Romans 8:28, the parable of the “sower”, what I saw was not simply a “sprout” but a tiny little miracle of “birth” with tremendous repercussions that belies the enormity of what we simply perceive as tiny. A blessing is a blessing there are no measures or comparisons just as a “miracle” is a miracle…no matter the measure by human understanding.

The seed that sprouted and emerged this morning, that was not visible last night but was almost the same height as those I planted 6 weeks ago. One more illustration of how by grace some of us are further along in our walk than others…but yet equal in all respects to all brethren and seekers of truth.

Comes to mind…”the last will be first and the first will be last”

The seeds represent puzzle pieces to me in a sense , in time, in different seasons, sprouting in a sort of pattern, that in turn begin to form a specific direction in thought, when the time is right, His time…it all coalesces in an instant whereby the pen moves or the keys are tapped. No effort whatsoever required…only patience and obedience whether consciously or otherwise. The “visuals” take form from out of the ethers…this is the way I write…it took decades to understand this compelling reluctant obedience I am as much “out of body” by-standing…when I read it as others.

If you really know, trust and believe, you would be as amazed, astounded, and awestruck as i. There is no “I” whatsoever in the undertaking, no none to claim.

Love, Anthony.

Stopped Caring (revised)

Merci

Say what you will
Do what you must
it’s a feeble push,
without any thrust
It’s a waste of time
It’s a waste of breath
It’s living water
In shallow depths
cause-sans’-effect
Dust hydrated, animated…momentarily
till the coming famine and drought
It’s iron on iron
Petrified in rust
It’s the towel thrown in
It’s out for the count
It’s the last leg wobbling
It’s going under
Quicksand’s deadly grip
It’s the dark ash on a forehead
A cross of soot
Trampled underfoot
Everything seen obscene
Everything worth seeing unseen
Makes me want to shout…
“unclean…unclean!”
I’m tired…
And I don’t give a shit who knows it
With no right to complain
Not entitled to gain
Still I weary of all the games
A lost cause without a name
With no one but myself to blame
Take me out to sea
One last time
Someone…
Anyone…
Spread and sprinkle my ashes
Where I once felt alive
Then run…
run like bloody hell!
Distance yourselves’
from how “carnal” this sounds
and revisit hypocrisy still alive and well
Oh, how un-Christian this so-called believer be!
tell me what you see…
what you hear
expose me,
invert me,
love me…with truth
in a tough “Way”
let it be as smelling salts cracked open beneath nostrils
reviving breath again
no matter how much it “hurts”!
Been down this road
one too many times
to cave…
because of anything
the world does
or anything the world says…
Bring on the blunt object
let the bludgeoning begin
You will tire
you will wane
faint and expire
long before…
This resolve gifted unbeknownst which i’d been “hard-wired” for will
I’ve seen it happen
borne witness
so many times
for so many decades
to simply be relegated to coincidence
it’s heady…
learned much
been told to “be prepared
Even though i heard this clearly years ago
still know…
 despite my best efforts
without Him
i’ll never be  ready.

“Lord,

Oh precious Holy Lord

I am beset…

from all sides!

If I be truly yours,

please save me

 

___________________

dove

To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.”
– Thomas Aquinas

God Bless