What Did You Mean?

broken window

Pantomime behind a plate glass window
the world i knew came crashing in on me
brick with a note attached
landed at my feet

looters rioting in the street
amid the chaos
eyes awakened to reality
“this is the real you”
the note read

familial strangers
banged on drums
danced a intoxicating tribal ritual
around my head

shaking off the cobwebs,
breaking the trance,
two left feet,
limp away,
from a carnal dance

deja vu’
seeing double, triple
eyes now adjusted to the dark
target aquired
moving into range
holding my fire
because you hold hostages

you’ve been disowned
we are estranged
you can’t touch me anymore
so you resort to hurling bodies at me

you’re self-defeating
everytime you miss me
you shatter more windows
start the process
of setting another prisoner free

an unexpected phone call
based on a conversation
two weeks old.
“what did you mean?”
“Anthony,you used these words…
help me to understand”

“autonomous?”

“iceberg effect?”

“sentience?”

“learned behaviors?”

“triggers?”

“identifying with your abuser”

it struck a note with me,
what does it all mean?

for starters,
it means you’re waking up,
glad you called…

“i’ve got some self help books i’d like you to read if you’re willing?”
they were gifted to me by a friend,
helped me a bunch,
you’re more than welcome to them..

“i’d love that.”

“let him know that whoever brings back a sinner from the error of his way will save his soul from death.” (James 5:20 RSV)

love the sound of breaking glass,
answered prayers,
music to my ears,
thank you Lord.

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