Person, place or thing? (definition…defied)

There is a word (noun) for Joseph,

I have searched for and not yet found

Self made, too complexed to define

I’ve been gifted this friend

I often pray for him

Try to keep him as close as I can

But maybe…

Maybe, that’s just not God’s plan?

I think of him as lost

This young man

I didn’t try to even know

Much less have grown to Love

Guided by an unseen hand

And to some degree understand

But when he drinks

And that’s more often than not

My friend discards the ‘R’

And embraces a ‘fiend’

There is no reaching him then

He becomes someone else

Whom I have not the capacity

To reason with

He becomes a runaway train

Traveling too fast to negotiate the next inevitable hairpin curve

It’s a real shame

Such a heart imprisoned

The promise

Potential

A God given name…

Restrained

Detained

Unproclaimed

Heavenly Father defamed/blasphemed/uttered in vain

I want to sometimes turn my back

Look away…

Walk away

But it’s been hard to do

And even harder some days

To dig deep and attempt to find the right words to pray

The pull is strong…

The pull is strong to stray

To self-medicate in kindl

Pretend to not see his demons on display

Numb the painful sight that breaks your heart and mine O’ Lord

The challenge is this:

Can I love him anyway?

Can I love him as You do?

Can I love him even through foolish ways?

Can I love him the further he strays?

Can I love him,

Till something in me gives way

And collapses?

Can I find the strength and courage

If need be…

To love him enough to walk away?

He once said to me:

“I want to see HIM in you,

I want you to show HIM to me”

And that touched my heart deeply

But Father I’ve done all I know how,

I’ve tried ceaselessly in devotion and faith

And offered surprise mysteries unveiled spontaneously as they were presented

But that doesn’t seem to be enough

And if there’s something more

Only YOU know the whys

And the hows

And the ‘WAY’

It is beyond us

It would require a miracle

So I pray for one everyday

To break through such fearful, vehement denial and strong-willed, strong-armed, strongheld, captivity, in ignorant, defiant, blind tenacity 

My time here is spoken for…

And temporal 

I pray that someone else is on their way to Joseph

Many have tried

Many have failed

Joseph finds humor in that

But the devil laughs louder

Than Joseph ever has

Or ever could

And still can see in himself

No matter how painstaking,

meticulously illustrated…

Nothing good.

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