Regroup

Tempted by echoes of old false glories
Past stories
Stray thoughts unguarded conspiring to convey 
every insincere “I’m sorry”
waiting for the ball to drop
 The Times Square in my mind
 city of my birth
left behind
the countdown frozen
as anti-climactic as the bottle of dissolution gripped tightly in hand
transported here I stand
in present thought
among the throng
yet all alone
set aside to a corner
as the stampede rushes by
for reasons unknown
the world in which I could navigate and dispatch
now are dead end ways
as if only allowed to go but so far
before having to turn around
and get back on the main route
like a vein that cannot wander from the leaf
why does it seem
that I sometimes forget that I am no longer alone?
That opportunity without “unity”
Is only blindly “opportune”
A vain corridor of idolatry
Leading to an empty hall
In Jesus I’ve wanted for nothing
And in my poverty
Constantly rediscover through Him
That I have it all
But this proclivity towards further searching
May prove my undoing
And though I think my search is in earnest and well intentioned
Convince myself that it is valid and just
I know something’s wrong when the call becomes faint
I have distanced
Stretched the boundaries
Of self-restraint
It takes a reminder in Love
To remember in Whom I’ve placed my trust
Then I know it’s time to stop
To be still
And wait…
“Regroup”
Working out the in-betweens
In “fear and trembling”
Known verses…
Becoming more known upon a further look
Mindful always…
Of the beginning
And end
Of the Good Book
(Despite human weakness and doubts,
in spite of the pull of “self”,
breaking through, “irrepressible” at the core of a Grace gifted new heart.)
Anthony
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