Why Go To Church?

What good does it do to go,
to do…
if not willing to “BE”?
What is there to get “from”
If nothing is brought “to”?
What good are throngs
going through the motions?
Staring at watches?
Perfunctorily singing songs?
Forsake assembly?
Not what is being advocated here
But we must ask ourselves…
when and where to forsake
worldly doctrines with specific misleading agendas
Webs spun by salaried pretenders
Where two or more are gathered
to such gatherings drawn
The only crosses on display
are the ones evident in each others hearts 
unseen yet known
unshown yet shone
beyond the veils of mystery
Purchased, ransomed…
Why seeketh thou man, 
to enslave us anew?
Luke 24:5
The women were terrified and bowed with their faces to the ground. Then the men asked, Why are you looking among the dead for someone who is alive?”
To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.”
– Thomas Aquinas
“Dear God, please save us from half the people who think they’re doing God’s work
“If the primary aim of a Captain were to preserve his ship, he would keep it in port forever”-Saint Thomas Aquinas

God Bless


In a dream-breath-fantasy
You glide upon a crest of sea-foam
Engulf me in a tidal wave of spoken words
I succumb to your undertow
Drown in your prose
One night…forever came to call
One night…you lifted me up
From where I was pre-destined to fall
One night…
As a swirling envious twilight lingered
To witness a befuddled nightfall
Enshroud the brilliance of your glow
In three days time
Every doubt would be assuaged
The entire world would know
That this was no dream
But a Divine, Glorious, sobering reality
And so it was with me also
one night…
Soaked in tears evoked
by a Loving Saviour’s mercy and grace
Utterly floored by a most profound joy
Such as I had never known before!
Isaiah        43:16-21


The diagnosis was incidental
the comedy of errors that ensued were incredible
as in incredulous…
as in absurd…
there was such urgency and alarm
but every appointment was months apart
months turned into years somehow
and i can feel it growing…spreading
the pain has tendrils and everyday reaches further
now i’m a stubborn guy
but i’ve wanted to be gone for so long
and just by doing nothing it seems my wish is being granted
i’ve let it grow…
from my adrenal gland to who knows?
pain is an old familiar friend
and all fear has flown
i’ve seen and heard “mystery”
some unknown…become known
i embrace pain…as a comfort zone
i’ve tried and failed
i’ve failed and tried again
but l’m done now…
i will rest soon i know
no one may cut me open again
i’m done with all that
this is no place to call home
no life…
anyone in their right mind
would want to extend
one last time…
i’ll hit send
then silence
but wait…
i know i have cancer
i’ve known for nearly three years
i choose not to fight
fight for what???
have you not seen and heard what is going on?
pain is an old friend since before my formitive years
yes i’ve experienced the gambit of emotions
but “pain”
pain has been a constant in my life without fail
before being saved and after
on this side and before glimpses through the veil
perhaps it should not have been but it was
and so it is…soon to be over
but not soon enough
i would not wish my life on my worst enemy.


Trying to live in this world and not be “of” it…
Try going for a swim and then saying you’re not wet
One can only attempt and grace dictates the rest
I would be a liar to say i love this place
I’m in it up to my neck
sometimes drowning
sometimes wading
sometimes floating on my back
sometimes treading
sometimes a dog paddle in circles
always…soaking wet!
A Fish in dry land
A symbol…
That cannot breathe underwater
That cannot thrive in the sun
And in this place…nothing more than sitting ducks

Waiting for a Tsunami of sorts on a global scale!

a bird landed on my head?

If i’m being completely honest…
how many times have i thought…
“a lot of good this has done for me…?”
even as i struggled to pray
how convenient it seems to forget the times that favor smiled upon me
in the past…
and today?
well today just seems devastatng…
I can’t see past the hurt and pain of now…unbearable!
i’m floundering…
and the cross i once cleaved to
is a garment shrunken to the point of becoming unwearable
this is the best i have to offer right now…
how pathetic?

i was spreading bird seed across the railings of the back deck…
as i do several times of day
and thousands of times before
when suddenly i heard a loud fluttering of wings behind me…
and then..?

in any event i was so startled,
i forgot my misery for a moment
i’ll take that as a sign…
i certainly will:)

(in case your wonderin’…no the bird did not poop on my head…probably deserved it, in fact i’m sure i did…but no:)

Written in 1994…decades before consciously knowing of being saved or even what it meant or even asking to be.

I breathe not
less you breathe within me
I see beyond seeing
for my sight belongs to Thee
I feel without touching
that which is more than i may grasp
I walk in circles…
I walk in darkness…
Without Your love
To light my path
(makes me wonder if one can be saved w/o knowing they’ve been saved? All things are possible with a sovereign God. Why else would anyone even write such a thing while still oblivious to truth and mystery…jus’ sayin’?)
Being such as i was at the time i wrote this it made absolutely no sense at the time, just a lovely thought? A homage to someone i did not truly believe even existed. But yet i thought…”how beautiful?, Maybe i should share this?” and i was forced to ask myself “why the tears, why the pain, what was i feeling?”
I know now…but it’s been a very long journey:)
One thing i did learn for certain was: One does not necessarily need to understand everything read or written immediately…but like tea, the longer it steeps the more potent the flavor. I would often get frustrated with reading my Bible and put it down because i could not understand it. One day i resolved to read whether i understood or not and grew in faith and belief as a result of that decision. The understanding was not in my time but in His perfect time, much became clearer:)


To one who has faith, no explanation is necessary. To one without faith, no explanation is possible.”
– Thomas Aquinas

“Dear God, please save us from half the people who think they’re doing God’s work

God Bless